Day 1
Tuesday February 20th
I am on a plane to Africa. I will have a two-hour layover in the Paris airport, and then on to Abidjan in Cte D'Ivoire (Ivory Coast).
This is the beginning of my trip and this journal. I do not know who I am writing to - myself, I guess - or to everyone whoever you are. I know my husband will read this, but I will try not to think about that as I write. I love him so much. I never want him to misunderstand me, and yet I know I need to write uncensored. I am not writing for the person who may read these pages but for the people I will be writing about.
When I left my husband, he said he didn't want me to go because he loves me, but that he is supporting my need to go, and he is proud of me.
I hope he is right. I hope I give him reason to be proud. I honestly want to help. I don't believe I am different from other people. I think we all want justice and equality. We all want a chance for a life with meaning. All of us would like to believe, that if we were in a bad situation, someone would help us.
I don't know what I will accomplish on this trip. All I do know is that while I was learning more and more every day about the world and about other countries as well as my own, I realized how much I didn't know.
I don't understand why some things are talked about and others are not.
I don't know why I think I can make any kind of difference. All I know is that I want to.
I have done a lot of research and talked with many people in Washington D.C. at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR). I have read as much as I could. I discovered statistics that shocked me and stories that broke my heart. I also read many things that made me sick. I have had nightmares - not many - but they scared me.
I wasn't sure I should go. I'm still not sure, but - and I know this may sound false to some - I thought of the people who have no choice.
I have a beautiful family, a home, and my husband at my side.
It seems crazy to some of my friends that I want to leave the warmth and safety of my home. They asked, "Why can't you just help from here? Why do you have to see it?" And I'm not sure if I'm being crazy or stupid.
My Dad attempted to cancel my trip. He called USA for UNHCR, but since I am an adult, he couldn't stop me. I was angry with him, but I told him, I know he loves me and that I did feel as my father he should protect me from harm. We embraced and smiled at one another.
My Mom looked at me like I was her little girl. She smiled at me through her teary eyes. She is worried. As she hugged me goodbye, she gave me a specific message from my brother Jamie. "Tell Angie I love her, and to remember that if she is ever scared, sad, or angry - look up at the night sky, find the second star on the right and follow it straight on till morning." Thats from Peter Pan, one of our favorite stories.
I am thinking about those people I have been reading so much about and how they are separated from their families they love. They have no home. They are watching the people they love, die. They are dying themselves. And they have no choice.
I don't know what it will be like where I am going, but I am looking forward to meeting these people.
My first stop is Paris for a few hours and then to Africa
Day 2
Wednesday February 21st
On the plane from Paris an African man wearing a nice blue suit and a warm smile, asked me if I was a journalist, I said, "No, just an American who wants to learn about Africa." He said, "Good!"
He seemed to be an important man surrounded by others in suits who greeted him as if to pay respect. As he got off the plane with the group he was traveling with, a few military men - one in front and one in back - led them out and a camera caught him as he greeted a man who must have represented another important group.
I write all this because when he asked me on the plane if I was traveling to other parts of Africa, I told him "Sierra Leone," and he said, "I am scared of that place."
I was met off the plane by a very sweet man with UNHCR. His name is Herve. He spoke French and very little English. I speak very little French. But I realized very quickly that smiles and gestures are all you really need sometimes. We stood next to each other in silence since my bags were the last off the plane.
I saw more military than civilians.
Everyone's bags are opened and checked.
I then met another man from UNHCR.
We talked in the car about how Africa is going through a civil war. It is not unlike the Americans before they became what they are today. When you think about that you realize how important it is to help and support them to help themselves to determine the future of fifty-two countries on this big, powerful continent.
If we consider them our allies and help them to build up, it will only help us.
I have discovered that The United States has helped a great deal and that should not go unnoticed. But compared to so many other countries we give less (per capita). With what we have compared to others ability to give, we give less.
Politics aside - on a human level - we should all be reminded of what is important and how we are truly equal.
We should help in the beginning when people are trying and forming, not when it is to late.
During the Cold War, Africa was split. They had gained independence in the 60's, but when the Cold War was over, Africa then needed help to strengthen the democracy.
They needed help for support to those people who stood for the same freedoms we all believe in.
There was a video I saw on Sierra Leone.
They had a march for democracy a few years ago, I cant remember what year but it was before the worst of the fighting had started.
If only we would have offered our help back then, perhaps it would not be this way now.
Our founding fathers were refugees.
The Native Americans became refugees.
The man, who welcomed me, spoke about his time in America. We both expressed an awareness of how little is told to the American people, or how sheltered they can be. Also, to their credit, when they do see what is happening around the world (from a special on CNN to occasional stories in the newspapers), most Americans do want to help, and they are very generous.
He told me he had been to Kansas City, Missouri for one Christmas. He also shared other stories of experiences he had in America. I thought about how he had taken the time to travel to The United States, because he "wanted to understand America a little better."
Very few of us have been to Mali (a country in Africa where he was born).
And that could be why he was so welcoming. He wanted to share his country with me.
I checked into my room. This hotel must have been beautiful once and it is better than I had expected my accommodations to be. I feel wrong staying in this place even though it's only for a few nights. I am here in Abidjan to have meetings with UNHCR. On Saturday I will leave for Freetown in Sierra Leone to be with the refugees.
I do appreciate the proper shower and sleep. I know to enjoy it tonight and I am grateful.
Day 3 Previous - Next
Thursday February 22nd
I am sitting in a chair in a UNHCR office here in Abidjan. I am having a long morning.
I have come to understand many things, and yet there is so much I don't understand. Most of all I realized how little awareness I had of these people.
I am sitting under a sign - a poster for UNHCR. It reads, "IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH TO BECOME A REFUGEE. YOUR RACE OR BELIEFS CAN BE ENOUGH.
I was allowed to sit in on an interview with Asylum Seekers. UNHCR will listen to their stories and sometimes check on the information. They will help them if they can. They have to try to determine if they are eligible to be labeled a refugee, and therefore, seek asylum.
These asylum seekers are here to apply for a chance to live in the borders of a country that is different from their own place of origin.
They must prove their need for protection and support; that is, for whatever protection and support is available, and in many countries that is not much at all.
The young couple interviewed today lost contact with their two children. The husband was thirty. The wife was twenty-five (my age). They seemed much older. Their bodies so weary, their eyes so sad, desperate. They both spoke French and a little English and were very intelligent.
They made a kind of attempt to make me feel comfortable.
When they were introduced to me, it was explained that I was an American here in Africa to try to understand and to learn in order to help express situations like theirs to my country.
I was glad I felt they understood another person was trying to help, but after hearing their story, I felt helpless and yet full of purpose.
My country was once not unlike Africa, and we had a civil war.
These people are strong, smart people. Given the opportunity, and considering all the resources that are now tearing the country apart, they could be a very strong, rich country.
The presence of UNHCR, and others, may seem like they are not successful at times because of all that is still going on. But in learning the history of the refugee situation and understanding all the work that has been done to help them, all of these dedicated workers have been very successful with their help.
We should all be very grateful.
I believe without their intervention the refugees would have no hope at all. Most of these groups of people would be dead and forgotten.
Everything would be in rebel hands and under the control of dictators.
We must continue to give support to help the countries in Africa who welcome the refugees and give them a home.
Our country and other countries will continue to have refugees crossing our borders unless we help strengthen the countries where they come from.
Day 3
Thursday February 22nd
I am sitting in a chair in a UNHCR office here in Abidjan. I am having a long morning.
I have come to understand many things, and yet there is so much I don't understand. Most of all I realized how little awareness I had of these people.
I am sitting under a sign - a poster for UNHCR. It reads, "IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH TO BECOME A REFUGEE. YOUR RACE OR BELIEFS CAN BE ENOUGH.
I was allowed to sit in on an interview with Asylum Seekers. UNHCR will listen to their stories and sometimes check on the information. They will help them if they can. They have to try to determine if they are eligible to be labeled a refugee, and therefore, seek asylum.
These asylum seekers are here to apply for a chance to live in the borders of a country that is different from their own place of origin.
They must prove their need for protection and support; that is, for whatever protection and support is available, and in many countries that is not much at all.
The young couple interviewed today lost contact with their two children. The husband was thirty. The wife was twenty-five (my age). They seemed much older. Their bodies so weary, their eyes so sad, desperate. They both spoke French and a little English and were very intelligent.
They made a kind of attempt to make me feel comfortable.
When they were introduced to me, it was explained that I was an American here in Africa to try to understand and to learn in order to help express situations like theirs to my country.
I was glad I felt they understood another person was trying to help, but after hearing their story, I felt helpless and yet full of purpose.
My country was once not unlike Africa, and we had a civil war.
These people are strong, smart people. Given the opportunity, and considering all the resources that are now tearing the country apart, they could be a very strong, rich country.
The presence of UNHCR, and others, may seem like they are not successful at times because of all that is still going on. But in learning the history of the refugee situation and understanding all the work that has been done to help them, all of these dedicated workers have been very successful with their help.
We should all be very grateful.
I believe without their intervention the refugees would have no hope at all. Most of these groups of people would be dead and forgotten.
Everything would be in rebel hands and under the control of dictators.
We must continue to give support to help the countries in Africa who welcome the refugees and give them a home.
Our country and other countries will continue to have refugees crossing our borders unless we help strengthen the countries where they come from.
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