Donny: I'm Robin Hood, man. I steal from the rich and give to the needy.
Freb: You mean the poor.
Donny: No, I mean the needy. 'Cause brother, we need this car.

Drycoff: We are talking about professionals. No visible damage to locking mechanisms, steering columns, or ignition systems, and as you can see, these are not Honda Civics. Including this, one of three brand-new Mercedes, a car they say is "unstealable".

Sway: What do you think is more exciting , having sex or boosting cars?
Memphis: How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?

Punk: [shouting] Get outta the car or I'm gonna blow your brains out!
Donny: You gotta be shittin' me.
Punk: Now! I'm gonna shoot you...
[Donny takes his gun and knocks him out]
Freb: Damn!
Donny: Why, you lazy-ass bully! Any asshole can pull a gun on somebody! You do not know the first thing about stealing a car! Boy, you need a role model!

[on their way to steal cars from the police impound]
Mirror Man: Hey, Sphinx, I don't look suspicious, do I, man?

The Sphinx: [silence]

Raymond Calitri: [over the phone] Time's up Atley. Bring me the kid and we'll settle this.
Atley Jackson: Which kid is that?
Raymond Calitri: Oh, The Cincinatti Kid, Billy the Kid. Which kid do you think I mean?
Atley Jackson: I think you mean Kip Raines.
Raymond Calitri: That's the kid.
Atley Jackson: You know what? That little son of a bitch evaded me.
Raymond Calitri: Find him.

Raymond Calitri: Then bring me his brother. One Raines is as good as the other. It never rains but it pours.

Memphis: The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.

Mirror Man: That ain't no tool, that's a brick.

[Last Line]
Memphis: [Engine dies] Oh, don't do this to me.

Memphis: Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory

[While giving driving lessons]
Donny: Pull over. Pull it the hell over! Let's see, you can't negotiate traffic, you can't signal properly, you can't parallel park. Hell, you can't drive, honey. I can't swim, I know I can't. So you know what I do? I stay my black ass out the pool!

Memphis: For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges will be removed.

Memphis: You're still looking amazing.
Sway: Well, *you* look like a bible salesman.
Memphis: You're healed.

Otto Halliwell: How Many Days?
Memphis: Three
Otto Halliwell: How many in your crew?
Memphis: One, but, I'm here to negotiate for a second.

[The crew enters the Ferrari garage]
Sway: Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.

[distracting the guard at the impound with a Barbie]
Mirror Man: Hey, lookie here, she's a brick..., duh-duh-duh, house.